Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I actually pay taxes

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Why does Rahul Gandhi have so many haters?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Why did you put a guy’s dick in your mouth the first time?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

What might be the social consequences of an ethnic as opposed to a civic conception of the nation?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Why is Reddit blocked by the Indonesian government?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I'm very sick. 72 years old. I thinking I'm losing my mind. My dead friend told me it's going to be okay. I could feel him. There is more…I don't know what but more.

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know who the president of Turkey really is

President Trump kicked Zelensky out of the White House. Is it over for a deal?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

Why do flat earthers think using globetrotter, globetard, and other insults will make the educated arguer fall for the silly flat-earth belief?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Why cant I add weight to my lifts even though im completing my sets? Every time I try to add more weight I cant even complete one rep.

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I understand how hurricane paths work

Netflix’s Buzzy New Doc About an Infamous Tragedy Shows It’s Just the Beginning - Slate Magazine

I have complete contempt for fakery

I can count

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Does the Lil Wayne song ‘Lollipop’ refers to a Lollipop sweet or a metaphor?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Was Michael Jackson really an innocent person?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have a reading level above third grade

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

What is every dictators biggest fear?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Are today’s baseball pitchers faster than a few years ago, or is it that radar guns have improved and get the pitch speed as it is released rather than as it reaches the plate?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Why did the massacre of al-Dawayima Palestinian residents not have the same reverberations as the Deir Yasin massacre?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I can read

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I see through liars

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is